Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Aussie Aussie Aussie

Between Washington State center Aron Baynes and ESPN 2's late night live coverage of the Australian Open I am officially on the Aussie bandwagon, or maybe it is I am officially in the Kangaroo's pouch. Either way, they both know how to put on a show, but for the sake of this column I will stick to the Open.

If you can get over Rafael Nadal's incessant grunelling (that's grunting/yelling) you should treat yourself to watching at least a couple of the intriguing matches at this year's Australian Open, and I promise you will not be disappointed. In no way am I an avid tennis fan, but over the past week I have found myself saying at least twice, "That was one of the most exciting sporting events I have watched on TV in awhile." Between Roddick being upset early, Federer being taken the distance by a no name (Janko Tipsarevic), drunk fans being pepper sprayed and Novak Djokovic's impression of Maria Sharapova serving (http://youtube.com/watch?v=guvyjrmNJP8) it is has been an entertaining Open thus far.

Just to get you caught up... Federer ended up advancing, Nadal has not lost a set, one of the many Serbians in the tourney took care of Serena Williams in the round of 16, and Maria Sharapova is currently taking Justine Henin behind the woodshed as she is about to upset the #1 overall player and advance in straight sets.

So if you consider yourself a true sports fan, or even if you don't and there is nothing better on TV, tune into some Aussie Open and if nothing else you will be entertained by the overly dedicated drunk fans in the crowd.

The first post

I will start this little shindig off with a column of sorts, written by my cousin Justin Morrison, and from there see if I can stay motivated enough to regularly put something on here. It is slightly outdated since it is from a couple months ago (sorry Justin) but a good piece none the less. Enjoy.

3 Point “J”
By Justin Morrison
November 9, 2007

Pregame Shootaround
Welcome to the first ever installment of the 3 Point “J”, a bi-monthly look at the ‘07-‘08 College Basketball Season. The title might be a little misleading to some because I doubt there will be any real points made throughout the column, mainly just observations. However, I will try to stick to 3 topics. Most of the time. But who knows, there might be the occasional 4-point play, or the even the rarely seen 5-point Rock ‘N Jock bucket. (But that only comes into play during the final two minutes of the game) Enough lame pop culture references from the mid 90’s let’s get to it.

#1. It’s the loneliest number that you’ll ever know
But is it lonelier than the Michigan State Spartans brand new locker room. Filled with plasma TV’s, video gaming systems, plush couches, even a full kitchen; but as of right now, no tenants. Why you ask? Spartans Head Coach Tom Izzo has barred his players from their new digs after an 85-82 double overtime loss to the Lakers in their first exhibition game of the season. Little harsh don’t ya think coach? I mean, double overtime . . . With the Lakers . . . That’s not bad? Ohhhh, the Grand Valley State Lakers, I was thinking of the Kwame Brown, Luke Walton, Sasha Vujacic . . . well I guess it’d work either way. Seriously though, Grand Valley State? A Division II school? Remember earlier this year when Division 1-AA Appalachian St. beat Michigan in Football. I know the Michigan State loss doesn’t count against their record this year, but isn’t the Spartan’s loss almost worse in a way. Look at it like this: There are 120 Division I teams in college football, while there are more than 340 Division I teams in college basketball. Both losses came at home to D-2 schools, but based upon the numbers isn’t State’s loss a little more embarrassing.
And by the way, how many Spartan fans, who had been running their mouths to their Wolverine friends for the past two months, felt their cell phones vibrating the minute that game ended? How does crow taste anyway?
So now the players don’t get to use their fancy new locker room because they haven’t earned it, blah blah blah. Somebody will probably write a column crediting Coach Izzo for being such a terrific motivator when the Spartan’s win the Big Ten title this year. Please, the script practically writes itself, it doesn’t take a genius to come up with that one. Instead of the using the new facility Spartan players have been suiting up in the nearest weight rooms and hallways. What a waste of a killer locker room. (Note to self: Call Tom Izzo to se if he will sub-lease said locker room for around 400 bucks a month)

Before moving on to the next topic I would like to introduce a portion of the column that I hope will have a reoccurring role this season. I like to call It . . .
He’s still playing? (I hope it is self explanatory)
Drew Neitzel? Really? That kid has been around forever. He’s made a living shooting the three ball, but you’d never know it after the 3-15 (2-11 3PFG) night against GVSU. By the way has anyone ever seen him and Gonzaga’s Derek Raivio in the same room together? Same guy I think. NCAA should look into that. (Ed. note – Raivio and Neitzel did play against each other in that Maui Invitational classic two years ago)

#2. As in second best; ex. 2006 Ohio State Football
2007 Ohio State Basketball
You’re telling me it happened again?
A scene from Columbus, Ohio on the night of November 6, 2007
Two undergraduates at The Ohio State University decide not to go watch their Men’s Basketball team play an exhibition game against Findlay. Instead the duo opts for a few brewskis and a couple of hours of Guitar Hero in the dorm room. After setting the new high score on Sweet Child o’ Mine they flick on the TV just in time to see the highlights of Findlay’s shocking 70-68 upset. This is the conversation that follows. . .

Buckeye 1: Did we just lose to Finland? I don’t even remember their basketball team
qualifying for the Olympics. I guess they must have a few athletes right?
Buckeye 2: I don’t think it was Finland
B1: What do you mean?
B2: It’s not Fin-land it’s Find-lay.
B1: I think you’re pronouncing it wrong?
B2: No, the team we lost to was FIND-LAY not FIN-LAND.
B1: FIND-LAY? I don’t even think that’s a real country.
It is a real school however, located in Northwest Ohio, whose graduates include Joanie Dobbs. Who is Joanie Dobbs you ask? Only the runner up from season 6 of America’s Next Top Model. I don’t even watch the show but when I went to do research on the school that was literally the only name mentioned under Notable Alumni. (You can’t even make up stuff that funny)
Back to Finland for a second. Not exactly known as a breeding ground for pro hoopsters, but it does provide us with some fun Finnish Basketball Trivia.

Q: Which of the following Finnish athletes played two seasons in the NBA?
A. Jouko Ahola
B. Teppo Numminen
C. Janne Virtanen
D. Hanno Mottola

A: (D) You might remember Mottola better from his college days with Rick Majerus at Utah. (Then again you might not) He led the Utes in scoring his senior season at 17 PPG. Took them to the NCAA Tourney before losing to Michigan St. in the second round. Mottola averaged 4.6 PPG with the Atlanta Hawks from 2000-02.
(In case you were wondering about the other three names . . . Numminen played in the NHL and the other two guys won the World Strongman competition)

#3. Once is luck, twice is a trend, and three times is all skill
Gardner Webb 84 Kentucky 68.
The good news for Kentucky fans . . . At least Gardner Webb plays in Division I.
The bad news for Kentucky fans . . . Oh yeah, this one counted.
In Kentucky’s defense the team prepared just as diligently for Gardner Webb as they would for any other opponent. In fact they were able to watch a lot of film in the days leading up to the game. However Billy Gillispie and his Wildcat players were a little stunned to see the Gardner Webb starting five was not Dakota Fanning and 4 barnyard animals which they had prepared for. It wasn’t until the first media timeout that someone on the Kentucky coaching staff realized they had been preparing for Charlotte’s Web all week long instead of Gardner Webb (Too bad too, Kentucky was gonna throw a little box-and-1 at Templeton the rat). By the time they found out, Gardner Webb (With two ‘b’s not one) had built a 14-0 lead. The Bulldogs led by 11 at halftime and never less then 8 in the second half en route to a 16 point win over Kentucky in Rupp Arena. Shocking, I know. What was really odd, though, was the post game press conference when Billy Gillispie told reporters, “That was ‘Some Pig’, uh I mean team. That was ‘Some Team’ we just played . . . did I say pig?”
How did Kentucky go the entire 40 minutes and never even muster up a run to spark the home crowd. It wouldn’t have taken much to make the visiting team sweat just a little. Get 18,000 basketball crazy, Kentucky fans, wearing the same shade of blue to rise up make a little noise as the lead dwindles to a couple buckets and you tell me there wouldn’t have been a little pucker factor for those kids from Boiling Springs. Where the hell is Boiling Springs anyway? Is it even in the States? Only Boiling Springs I’ve ever been to was in Europe. . . Finland I think? Back to the point, if there is one. Do credit the Gardner Webb players and coaches for an outstanding ball game. They didn’t just show up and they weren’t in awe. G-W handed out a serious beating to a team with seriously more talent and athleticism then themselves. Ah, the beauty of college athletics.

Postgame Recap
I couldn’t have been happier to see all the upsets to start the year. Is there a better way to tip off the College Basketball season? It gets me all geeked up for that first week of March Madness when two or three Cinderella schools shock the high and mightys bringing a smile to my face . . . at least until I realize I had Kentucky meeting up with Ohio State in the East Rutherford Region. DAMMIT! Oh well. . . Let’s go Charlotte’s Webb.